Blogging What is that?

So posting something on my blog what is that???? Lets see it is Christmas in one week and I have yet to start my Christmas Shopping. Have not even figured out what I even want to buy for anybody? Haven't made my Christmas Cards let alone sat down and figured out who I am sending them out too? I don't think I have listened to Christmas Music this year??? Not sure what is going on but, just can't seem to get into the spirit of it all I guess? My kids are way into the spirit and leave notes and pictures for "Carl- The Elf on the Shelf" to take up to Santa almost daily. They are so exicited so hopefully Santa gets into the spirit soon and can get to the store to make sure they have a good Christmas! The only thing I know is I wake up at about 5am go work out at the gym go to work go home and spend some time with the kids, sometimes work on Primary stuff then wrestle the kids to bed and try and get some sleep and start it all over again? Occassionally I get a night out in that mix? According to people in my ward though I must be doing lots more becuase they already have me moving out of the ward and getting married to some guy??? HA HA HA note to self never let a guy friend come to a church activity or show up at church.Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas since at this rate I will probably not post again on this thing until Valentine's Day???

Quick update on my world!

So I have been a slacker about this blog thing sorry. But, life has been crazy and hectic and fun and exciting all at the same time. The kids and I are staying very busy between my church calling, work, and social life. Yes people I actually have a social life once in a blue moon. Don't ask my mother she will tell you it is too often. Anyways I have had a million questions about my dating life and so far things are pretty good have been dating a few people one more than others but, current status is "Best Buddies" and we will see what happens from there? Anyways since I have had a million questions about him and my dating life I figured I would post a picture of us from the Coldplay Concert that we went too. It was lots of fun and we always have lots of fun and tons of good laughs which for those of you who remember the old obnoxious laugh that disappeared years ago is starting to slowly find it's way back YEAH!!!! I'm so grateful for all my wonderful family and friends and for making new friends, I'm a very lucky girl to have the people in my life that I have!

Lance & Me

Best Big Brother!

I just have to say how proud I am of Mason he is an amazing little man. He has always tried to take care of me and even sometimes brings both his sister and me breakfast in bed. How lucky will his little future wife be? The other morning I came home from the gym and found them passed out like this. Notice his little hand is on his little sisters back and he has fallen asleep rubbing her back. When they woke up I asked him why he was in my bed? And he said "Laken was whimpering I think she was having a nightmare? So I crawled into bed and rubbed her back to make her feel better." I'm so proud of what a great big brother he is to his sister!

My Cute Niece and her little family!

So I just have to share this exciting news. My darling neice Melanie (who is more my little sis. than a neice) sent out an email or text or whatever on Halloween telling us to check her Blog. So when we did this is what we found.


We have given her husband Mike some grief that he has a thing with announcing things via Pumpkins because last year Amelia's (aka Millie) birth announcement was a pumpkin carved that said "It's a Girl" and a cute little tiny baby in the pumpkin. So next year no more pumpkin carving for them. Melba and Mike are amazing little parents and I know this came as a shock but, if anybody can handle it I know they can.

Happy Halloween

Well I am way off with this blogging crap lately some how I am posting about Halloween the morning after but, still have not gotten to our great Bear Lake trip, My niece's wedding, and Mason's Birthday and Baptism oops! Just a little busy I guess? So I have to say as sad as I am that the holiday's are already creeping up way too fast, I'm happy Halloween is over here is why it has been a crazy week. First Mason wanted a Halloween b-day party and dumb scatter brained mom for some stupid reason I thought I had another Saturday between Halloween, duh? So we ended up having to have his party Tues. night which was lots of fun and a big success and I guess one bonus about having it on a school night is it was short and sweet and done before 8pm. Then Wed. was our ward Primary Halloween party, thank goodness for an amazing group of counselors who managed to pull that one off. Thursday, the kids had parties for Day Care, and Friday was more parties and Trick or Treating, so I am burned out and the kids costumes have been well used. This year was the first year the kids wanted to pick their own costumes which I have to say was a bit sad so no more coordinating. But, they did not do to bad Mason wanted to be Dracula and Laken thought her poodle skirt meant she was a High School Musical girl???

And is it just me or do kids have this trick or treating thing way too easy? We only did a couple blocks and my kids each came home with a full size thing of play dough, and about 10 full size or king size candy bars. I remember when I was a kid it was a great year if you scored one full size bar and that meant those people were millionaires. I guess sometimes it does pay to live in an area where there are few kids, geez! We only had one trick or treater at our house a little different then living in Lehi!

It has been a while since I have really posted sorry life has been nuts! Between work, dating, Primary Pres. crap, and Visitation drama my head has been else where. But, figured I would post some of the pictures that my friend Angela took for us for family pics. She even made me do some solo ones so that I could put them on my profile to try and score a date. HA HA HA this dating thing is scary people hated it the first time around you all try doing it a second time! Anyways this is just a few of them. I will try and get on the ball and post about Mason's Baptism and the pictures and things from all of that as well as soon as I can. Sorry I'm a slacker!

Needed a Break so doing a Survey thing

So this past two weeks have been more MURPHY at it's finest so I really need a break from the headache and am tired of writing or talking about crappy stuff so I'm taking my friend Jeremy's lead and doing one of these little survey things to try and clear my head a bit? Thanks Jer. Feel Free to do it too it actually was theraputic.

Honest Survey:
1.Honestly, what color is your underwear?
white

2.Honestly, whats on your mind?
How bad my head hurts, a "friend" and how to help, When will I ever be done with stupid 3rd Qtr Budget reports for work and how I'm going to break the news to my kids about the visitation issues., UGH! No wonder my head hurts?

3.Honestly, what are you doing right now? IM'ing someone, taking this survey and talking on the phone, and working on a spreadsheet....who say's I can't multi task?

4..Honestly, do you think you are attractive? Hell No! praying the fact that I'm fun to be around counts for something.

5.Honestly, have you done something bad today? ummm just Today???? Define your definition of Bad? ha ha ha

6.Honestly, do you watch disney channel? I have kids what a dumb question.

7.Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Only of those who are laying on a beach some where?? Damn those people!

8.Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? My kids, and laughing and hanging out with friends.

9.Honestly, do you bite your nails? Yes dang it.

10.Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? No, somedays I wish. I would be much skinner probably? ha ha ha jk

11.Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute? Yes errrr!

12.Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? Ummm depends who is asking? But, no usually I am a freaking Open Book!

13.Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like? No, I have some that certain things bug me about them but, I still like them cuz heaven knows I am far from perfect, so if they put up with me I can put up with them.

14.Honestly, are you loyal? Yes probably too Loyal

15.Honestly, are you in denial? Nope not anymore, but lived in Denial for 10 years. So happy I am not anymore!

16.Honestly, who would you wanna be right now? I actually like me, just can I have me with a little less Murphy's Law luck, and maybe financially, physically, health and romance wise in a little bit better situation. (ok so maybe I don't like me? ha ha ha)

17.Honestly, do you like someone? ONE? Ha Ha Ha can you make that plural can't choose yet sorry?

RANDOMS:

1.What do you do when you're mad? Probably Cry, depends on what I am mad about?

2.What is the worst thing you've done when you were mad? I don't know if it was the worst but, defiantly the best thing I have done to feel better about being mad... Bonfire in my backyard Angela Basset (*movie Waiting to Exhale) style! The best closure moment!

3.Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? Yes unfortuantly

4.Do you swear when you're mad? Absolutely, but trying not too. But, sometimes there is just no other words in the English language that can express the correct feelings. ha ha ha

SADNESS:

1.Honestly whens the last time you really cried? Yesterday on my drive to work, I hate that 30 min of alone time to actually do nothing but, think. ha ha ha

2.Honestly have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Too many times to count? And the migraine the next day does not help. So I try and avoid that one.

3.Do certain songs make you cry? Yes sometimes depends on my mood at the time though.

4.If crying were a sin, would u do it, less or more often? Ummm would I really care??? If I need to cry I would freaking cry?

5.What usually makes you cry? Being worried about my kids.

HAPPINESS:

1.Are you normally a happy person? Yes, and after initial shock of something bad can usually turn it into a joke and find humor in most things although it is usually very sarcastic humor.

2.What can make you happy? My Kids, Music, Friends, A great Massage or playing out in the dirt or out in a boat. Snuggling with babies and a new PUPPY! *hint, hint!

3.Does being with your friends make you happy? Yes, especially if they are the drama free type of friends.

SELF:

1.Do you believe in yourself? Not really but, I know I have had to become an extremely Strong Person so everyone tells me I can handly most things.

2.When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you deny that you are? Yes still trying to learn how to take a compliment it was a foriegn concept for many many years.

3.Are you one of those people that think they are ugly, dumb, or gross? Depends? But, don't really care. Figure Im Me take it or leave it!

Learn to Juggle

First, MOM sorry for this one but, it was too funny especially coming from you!!! So I have to share a funny story. As some of you know my little squirt is a little "She Pimp" she I believe is now up to 6 different boyfriends and let me tell you it is hilarious to drop her off at school they all come running to greet her. Man that girls got skills she needs to teach me. ha ha ha. Anyways the other day Laken got in trouble at school and was not minding or refused to listen. I know big shocker there huh? Anyways so I had to sit her down and have a talk with her that night and the following story comes out as to why she was naughty. "Johnny was being mean to me." Me: "Oh so Johnny was mean so that means you can't listen or mind?" Her: "Yes Johnny was mad at me so I had a bad day." (Oh Drama hello can you imagine the boyfriend fights in High School.) Anyways after our little talk and me telling her she has to act better tomorrow at school she says OK. So the next day we are sitting at the dinner table and I say "Laken were you better for your teacher today?" She says yes and was so proud. Then Grandma pipes in and says "Was Johnny nicer to you today?" Yes, then she goes on to list all of her boyfriends and after a camping trip with my best friend Lou and her family last weekend she has added a new boyfriend to the list. So she says "and I told Johnny that I have another new boyfriend his name is Grayden." Both my mother and me start laughing and say "Lake did you tell Johnny that Grayden was your new boyfriend and that is why he was mean to you yesterday?" She says yes. My mother then proceeds to say "Laken you don't tell your other boyfriends about the other boys." I say "Mother don't be teaching my child to lie and be a cheat!" My mother dead serious says "I am not I'm teaching her how to Juggle" I about fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. Those of you who know and have met my mother this comment is not something that should have come out of her mouth. Heaven knows I did not get this lesson!!!!

Update on our crazy life...

Well I thought my life was crazy busy before some how the lord just loves to try and prove me wrong on a constant basis? I am trying to do the dating world scene and that alone is EXHAUSTING I'm worn out already and have only just really started trying to get into that scene I don't know how people do it? Then add in the fact that they just called me to be the Primary President in our ward. Yes I can hear you all laughing. Apparently the Lord has a sense of humor and so does my bishop and stake pres. I have said a million times obviously this was something that was not prayed about????

Then there are my little crazies who I love to death but, the youngest one if I live to see her turn 16 and start dating AUGH I'm scared to death. Let me just fill you in on the last few days of when I have picked up my kids from daycare. You probably remember Laken's video saying "She is going to marry Christian in a sparkly dress." Well she still talks about Christian and that he is her boyfriend, even though Christian does not go to daycare any more for the past 6 months? So the other day as we go to walk out some little boy says "Bye Girlfriend" I stand there stunned and Laken grins all embarrassed like she just got caught. She smiles and tells him bye. I said "Laken who was that?" She smiles and says "Oh mom that is just my boyfriend his name is Alexander." So I bring up Christan and say what about him? She says "Well I just have two boyfriends now and I am going to marry them when I am tall, tall, tall in a sparkly dress." Of course I'm dying laughing by this point and thinking heaven help me with this child. The following day I pick her up and now two little boys wave and say "Bye Girlfriend" I look at her again stunned and she literally puts her hands on her hips and looks at me and says "Mom we will talk about it in the car." Hello little 4 year old who thinks she is 30??? The daycare director heard her and busted out laughing. I said what did you just say and she rolled her eyes and says "Come on mom I will tell you in the car." Yeah you all try and keep a straight face while all the other parents and teachers are laughing. So we go to the car and I say "Okay little Missy start talking." She grins and says "well Mom now I have 4 boyfriends." I said "what?" she says "Yeah, Christian is my boyfriend, and Alexander, Johnnie, and Quincy and I am going to marry them." Can you say Polygamist in reverse? Seriously heaven help me with this child she is 4 and has all the little boys bending over backwards for her at school. We know she did not learn this from her mother maybe she can give me a few pointers? All of you that are laughing about this I am sending her to live with you when she turns 16 and starts dating. That girl scares me to death!!!!!

"Holy Crap..."

Life at my house is never a dull moment and Laken usually always is saying some little smart mouth comment to go along with that feisty little redheaded attitude. But, tonight at dinner we had Chinese Chicken Salad for Dinner and she just keep staring at it and I finally said Laken you have to eat at least the chicken in your salad. She looks at it and then says "Holy Crap there are worms in it." Of course immediately my mother and I are in tears laughing and she keeps going "Oh Crap worms are crawling all over my chicken." She was convinced that Rice Noodles were worms and convinced we were trying to get her to eat worms. She just kept saying "I don't want to eat worms."

BUGS!

So we have a new great bishop who I have to say does he not look like he should be a movie star even down to his name he was born and raised in the south of France. Anyways he is a great guy and awesome with my kids one Sunday night he just showed up and wanted to share part of his bug collection with the kids. Too funny a grown man that gets so excited over the "beauty and art of what a bug looks like." I have to admit though he did have some really cool bugs that were pretty amazing.

Bishop Arrogona and the Kids showing off some of the bug collection
Me... no laughing had just woken up from my Sunday nap... But, apparently I have no problem with Creepy things... Ha Ha Ha I had almost 10 years of practice in my marriage.
Mason checking out the fangs on the Tarantula.
Have to admit this bug was so cool even down to it's fuzzy balls on its Antenna's
Mason with a walking stick

White Water Rafting!!!!

This past weekend I went white water rafting with some friends we started this little tradition last summer my friend Robin and her son's have thier own raft and take us down the river. We go down about 9 miles down the snake river and then load the raft on the truck and race up and do it all over again. We had lots of fun but, defiantly have some aches and pains to show for it today. Oh well it was worth it.

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling gee my..... -"cityslickers"

Yes that would be Me standing up on the raft riding the bull and trying to pull the front of the raft out to get a good ride on "Big Kahuna"

Accomplished riding that bull...

Bye Angela! Bye Everyone Else!!!!!

I survived, Game On!

Well I did it I had my first official solo date and it was actually really good and really fun. YEAH FOR ME! Of course in typical Jen fashion it would not happen without a little bit of Murphiness so here are the funny's for everyone to laugh about. First, I fell down a set of cement steps and twisted my ankle (Smooth!) Second, my purse was in a storage compartment under the seat and we forgot and I sat on the seat all of a sudden we kept hearing some weird music coming from under my butt then I realized it was Bonnie Tyler "Total Eclipse of the Heart" ha ha ha oldie from my music on my phone so I hurry and grab my phone and notice the screen due to my heavy fat butt was cracked and my phone is now broken. Third, we went to dinner and of course I end up taking a drink of water and some how there is a freaking hole the size of Texas in my lip and I dump the entire thing down the front of me. So there you have it SMOOTH FIRST DATE! Ha Ha Ha hey all the dumb nightmares that girls have about falling or making a mess of themselves on a date take note just do it all on the first date and get it out of that way I guess? Murphy Fashion for sure, by the end of the night this guy was sold on the fact that I was for sure Murphy and calling me "Murph" as well.

I got Tagged....

Ok so I usually don't do this stuff but, was called out and was tagged by Jenn so you know me never one to back down from a dare or a challenge here it goes....

1. 10 years ago... I had just run away from the "Real World" and moved to Yellowstone, augh the good old days.

2. 5 years ago... Ha Ha wow I was living in Dramaville with a psycho and trying to put a fake smile on my face and run the show and make everyone believe I had the happy little LDS family life that I was suppose to have? How quickly life changes.

3. 1 year ago... Umm due to dramaville the past almost 3 years have been a blur? Sorry can't remember many details.

4. Yesterday... Figured out that Kids handle change so much better than Adults do. And that there are a lot of people who preach a lot but, have a hard time practicing what they preach.

5. 5 favorite snacks... Popcorn, Rice Krispie Treats, Crackers, Strawberries, Grapes

6. 5 favorite books....Twilght series (so that is 4?) Pride and Prejudice, and anything by Anita Stansfield or Jenny Hansen basically anything I need a book to read at all times lately.

7. 5 favorite places to run away... Run Away? What is that? ok so River Rafting, Camping, the Spa, 4x4, My Bed with a good book and nap.

8. 5 bad habits...Being too blunt, Assuming everything is my fault, feeling guilt about everything, being too forgiving, my mother will tell you lack of liking to clean or procrastinating.

9. 5 things I would never wear...Neon again yuck can't believe it is back, Bikini, I can't think of anything else probably because I have probably worn every horrible thing I can think of for some sort of party?

10. 5 things I enjoy...Laughing, the sound of my kids giggling, camping, river rafting, hiking

11. 5 favorite tv shows... LOST, Survivor, Bachelor or Bachelorette (suckers falling for that crap), Friends, King of Queens

Ok now I tag Annie, Lindsay, and Melba.... Copy and paste the questions and have fun with your blogging buddies.

Congrats Tina and Jeff!!!!

It was a very eventful weekend another exciting thing that happened was my beautiful little niece got engaged!!!! YEAH!!! Tina and the sweetest little boy known to man as my kids still call him "Baby Pawker" will start a new life with a great guy named Jeff. I am so happy for all three of them. Jeff is a very sweet guy and I can not wait to get to know him better. I hope he knows just what kind of crazy family he is joining? Ha Ha Ha! I feel like it was yesterday that I use to babysit "Beeny" and try and get her to say "Gotta Sandwich" because it sounded like she was swearing and my friends all sat around and thought this little girl that looked like "Tweety Bird" was so funny. Wow how quickly times change. I love you "Teeny" (holy cow you have lots of nicknames we call you?) CONGRATULATIONS to all of you!

Cinderella's Ball

The Birthday Party was a HUGE SUCCESS!!!!! Thanks in major part to my good friend Angela who is AMAZINGLY TALENTED. She made both the big and little Cinderella Dress also Fairy Godmother, and her daughter Jaylynn who came in the best Belle costume I have ever seen. Angela's little sister Beth played Cinderella and I have to say she pulled up in the car and I about had a heartattack because I could not believe what a perfect Cinderella she made. Especially if you know that really she had short hair she looked amazing and did such a great job with the kids. Sunday at church I was laughing because two of the little girls who were at the party now in order to sit in thier chairs "Curtsy" because Cinderella taught them all how to curtsy and to spin like a little lady. Thier mothers were laughing pretty hard because now in thier sunday dresses they kept doing it... SO DANG CUTE!!! We also had some little boys come and they came dressed as little pirates one even came with a Parrot on his shoulder. They had fun and got to help lead a treasure hunt to find Cinderella's lost slipper.

Cinderella and her little Minnie Me

Disney Eat your heart out!!!! Sorry but, these little Cinderella's out do yours any day!!!!

Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother..... Sorry I do not make a great one at granting wishes???

Part of the party some of the kids had already left before we took this picture... oops.

Amazing dresses! Thanks ANGELA and thank you Beth!!!! LOVE YA!!!!

Getting Ready for the Madness...

Laken's 4th B-day was on Wed. and I felt like a bad mom once again because I was sick and probably did not give her the special day she deserved but, lucky for me she was happy just knowing it was her birthday. Thank goodness even though she thinks she is a princess and rules the house she does not ask for anything. She has not asked for a single gift and never really does. So now we are preparing for her big "Cinderella" Party. My great friends Angela and Jenn have talked about giving Laken a Cinderella party for months and Laken has told everyone about it forever she is so excited. My friend Angela amazes me with her incredible talent at sewing. I'm sure she is home today knee deep in fabric. Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother will be coming to the party. Angela asked if I could come help at least cut the pattern out for the Fairy Godmother dress last night so we went over to do that and all I can say is holy crap after staying up until midnight cutting out stupid fabric I now know why I have left the sewing and crap to my Mom and Grandma, yuck!!! The best part was Laken got to try on the little Cinderella dress that Angela's daughter is letting her borrow, she looked so dang cute in it and you could tell truly felt like a little princess. And Angela's daughter was so sweet as soon as we walked in the house she came running and got Laken so excited about her party and said "I am going to let you wear the most beautiful Cinderella dress." Laken's eye's lit up and she said "Oh thank you so much Jaylynn." It was way too cute to watch these little girls get so excited over sharing dresses together. I will be posting lots of pictures from the party hopefully if I am still standing and all these little princesses and pirates that are coming to have not killed me off.

A Better Picture to Look at...

So really I have nothing to post about at the moment. Just sick of when I bring my blog up seeing that horrible nasty picture of fat head starring me in the face. Had to stare at the ugly mug way too many years so I deserve to see happy things now. So how about this fun picture from last summer when we went rafting and half the boat fell out on this run except notice me in the green hat still rowing away! Of course the third and finally run down the river yours truly was "riding the bull" up front and managed to flip the entire boat completely over and thought we were all going to die. What an adrenaline rush!!! I'm so happy to say I found out this week that we will be pulling this marathon river running trip again down the snake river this month and I can hardly wait! I will probably not able to walk or move for the next month but, it will still be so worth it!!!

Congrats to the Happy Couple! (GAG!)

Can not believe I am putting a picture of this ugly fat head on my Blog but, just have to vent and say Congrats they deserve each other!!!! So the past few days I have struggled with not letting that angry "man hater" inside of me creep back into my life because I really hate that side of me and feel I have worked to dang hard to get rid of it. But, I have to say men are definitely proving to make that a hard task. So let me begin with yes I found out that Paul got remarried I actually laughed and thought it was funny because a month ago he told me he would never get remarried again? Gee I know that telling the truth is an impossible task for him? But, then later that day a guy I work with was a total jerk to me and maybe I took what he did and said too hard because I was already irritated so I left work and went to visit my Grandma at the hospital. Unfortunately Paul and Eryn live right next door to the Hospital so then I happen to see that in their driveway is a Nice Grand Jeep Cherokee. That did it I was livid, I could not help but think that stupid car payment should be coming as child support or at least helping me to pay the daycare that I struggle to be able to pay? So I was on the verge of letting that Angry Man Hater girl out and thought I really just need to talk to a guy that is not a jerk to prove to me that not all men are jerks. So I send a text to a friend of mine (don't assume which friend for those of you who know!!) Anyways I get a RUDE response that tells me that I need to get over my ex!!! Poof there goes that idea of proving not all men are assholes? So I did a lot of thinking and trying to figure out why the realization of Paul being re-married was bothering me so much because I know for a FACT I am so far over him!!! Then it hit me of why I was so mad, My children now have a STEP MOTHER!!!! I can not even say the word without starting to cry, augh. Not only do they have a step "thing" but, she is currently 22 years old (yes that means she was 19 when she got pregnant) and she is a slutty Bar Tramp who does not deserve to have the blessing of my children as part of her life!!!! Paul, made a choice years ago that he did not want to be a family man and play the happy little married couple and family and I don't think he deserves another chance at it? WOW dejavu' from my past? Could I please stop mirroring my mother!!! Love you mom but, do not want to mirror your life. I'm so tired of having to fight off being that angry man hater because goodness knows my past has defiantly given me the right to be one. And so far my present life is giving me reason as well? So trying to stay positive and not break out the Angry Girl Music!!!! Trust me I know there is no such thing as Prince Charming or the perfect Man but, I would just be happy with a decent nice one please?

Dancing Queen!

As promised here is one of the video's of Laken dancing at TJ and Bailey's wedding. Sorry it is not a great film job I was laughing too hard to hold the camera still. But, you can hear everyone in the background giggling as well. Laken and Grayden cracked us all up. Keep in mind this video was taken after I had to pull Laken aside and threaten her life that if she lifted her dress during dancing one more time she would go home because nice girls do not dance like that. AUGH where on earth does she learn how to dance and give those freaking looks? Lord knows it is not from her Mother!!!!!

Little Ones Song.....

So most of you know I do not listen to much hip hop? I am defiantly a country girl for sure. I also am not a dancer so how on earth I ended up with a 3 year old who dances way crazy and can shake her little butt better then most people even on MTV scares me to death. Not sure where she is getting all these moves and songs from???? But, last night while I was standing in the kitchen all of a sudden Laken starts to shake her little "thang" and begins singing "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me..." Oh if you could have only seen Grandma's eye's bulge out of her head on that one it was hilarious!!!!! Seriously the construction of the padded cell to lock this little diva up in away from boys is going to have to start quickly!!!!

You know you are Old When....

You know you are Old when you go away for a weekend to hang out with your best friend and you no longer take pictures of you and your friends doing wild and crazy things together instead you simply take pictures of your kids together???? WOW how fast things change. The kids and I went up to Rock Springs, WY so far that was our huge outing for the summer Wahoo are we exciting or what? It was so much fun to be able to go spend time with my Best Friend Lindsay Lou and her sweet little family. First, I just have to say Linz' Lou (as I call her) blows my mind she had 4 brain surgeries during the month of May - June and this weekend you would never know any different. She is AMAZING and my hero!!!! We spent the weekend working and hanging out at her little brother TJ's wedding. Which was beautiful and so yummy of course because Lindsay & Sister Liz & Mom Debbie did all the flowers and food so of course it was incredible. Those women amaze me they have more talent in their little finger than I have in my entire body! I got a little bummed out at the wedding and then that just made me mad that I allowed myself to feel sad because I was solo. Especially because I felt like I was finally in a place that I was so happy just being ME and I was perfectly okay being alone? Apparently I was not and that bugs me. Laken also had a bit of an emotional break down she loves Mark (Lindsay's Hubby) and he is way good to her and spoils her rotten, Laken got very jealous when he set her down and went to go dance with his daughter Gracie she broke down and in my trying to calm her down I said "Honey Mark is Gracie's daddy and she wants to dance with her Daddy." OOPS, wrong thing to say that opened up the whole can of worms "why don't I have a daddy that wants to dance with me?" UGH! And once again I have to stand up for Jerk Face and make him look good as to not bad mouth the A**. So I'm done going to weddings unless it is my own someday? So if any of you are planning on getting married anytime soon you better be setting me up fast. HA HA HA just kidding. I will be posting a clip of a video soon from the wedding though Laken stole the show and got up on stage and danced her little heart out for about an hour and a half she had everyone laughing. And her mother bright red crawling under the table because I do not know where she got some of her dance moves but, the girl on some of them needed a pole she scares me between the jealousy fit about Mark and her dance moves heaven help me when she turns 16 I will have to lock her up and keep her away from boys for sure!!!!

You know you are Old When...

Wheelchair!

Yesterday was an extremely bad day and today I was staying positive and saying I was going to think happy thoughts and it would be a good day. So I just have to share my lunch break because I am still dying laughing about it. I went for a walk over at the Gateway Mall and the heel to my shoe got caught on something so I walked out of my shoe. I quickly stopped and turned to grab my shoe unfortunately there was a guy in one of those motorized scooter/wheelchair things he must have been following really closely and was going at top speed because I got nailed by a guy in a wheelchair. Yes, splat on the ground run over by a freaking wheelchair in front of about 50 people. Now I know my nickname has been Murphy for along time. But, I have to admit this is by far probably one of the funniest Murphy moments I have had. How many people can say they have been run over by a wheelchair and have tire marks up their legs to prove it. I'm just mad nobody caught it on video at least I could have sent it in and made some money off of the deal? Oh well. Enjoy my dumb luck and have a great laugh knowing you know someone that got run over by a wheelchair!!!!!

Sunday Family Fun!

Yesterday was a good day. We had our monthly Family BBQ this time it was up at my brother Derren's house in Jeremy Ranch. The weather was perfect and the kids all got along great. We had yummy food, and hung out and played and of course with my family a good day does not happen unless there has been some games and some major competition to be had.

Cowgirls

Last night some of my girls and I went to the Josh Gracin, Collin Raye, & Joe Nicohls concert. We had alot of fun together and the concert was great. But, I think the best part of the entire night was the fact that my best friend worked really hard on trying to surprise me and show me that she was okay with my friendship with a new "friend." So after the concert we headed over to Applebee's and my "friend" showed up to surprise me. Even though he was trying to convince me that he would not be able to come. PUNK! ha ha ha I just have to say hanging out with my friends and my girls was great. But, knowing that things were finally truly okay with one of my best friends was the best part.

Drained

It was a draining weekend, the kids had their visit with their father and although Friday night was long and hard because I was trying to calm Mason's fears. Laken did not know how to react when she heard she was going to see her dad she said "I have a daddy? Yeah I get to see my daddy! What is my daddy's name?" we all laughed and I said "what do you think your daddy's name is?" She said "I don't know maybe Morgan." So I had to set her straight so that she did not go into her visit calling him someone else's name. Mason was a nervous wreck and it took everything I had to play this visit up that it would be so much fun, blah, blah GAG!!!! So the big day came Mason was still a wreck he asked if he could "just call the judge and tell him that he did not want to see his father." wow if only it were that easy. So I held back my emotions and tears as I dropped my kids off on the curb with some stranger (the supervisor) who I was suppose to entrust my precious children with. I watched as they hesitantly walked into the building and then the flood gates opened up. Those of you who called and took my text messages when I was going off about how this stupid system was BS thank you!!!!

My family kept me busy with making me help move my grandma but, I have to say those were the longest few hours of my life. I picked the kids up and they said they had fun and "daddy was so nice he took us and bought a happy meal for us for lunch." Hmmm as I painted the smile on my face and hide my eyes behind my sunglasses I said "Oh that is great I'm so happy you had so much fun with him." Meanwhile I want to scream and yell because he buys them a damn happy meal and now he is father of the freaking year!!!! I truly got to learn what the term "Disneyland Dad" was all about. So then of course I had my own personal struggle with am I a horrible person? I should be happy it went well? But, instead I was sitting there thinking I know the true Paul I know he can put on a really good act HELLO he acted for 7 years of our marriage! So maybe it is because of my own past experience but, I can't help but think eventually this will end and their little hearts will be broken and I can not stand the idea of having to let them build him up just so that he can break them down again?

Anyways my best friend Linz' said it will be interesting to see how the kids react when the reality of their visit sets in. She was so right! Laken started Saturday night with a tummy ache then a fever. Mason started Sunday with the same thing. Both of them are acting very, very insecure they do not want me to even be in the other room without them? Sunday I had to teach Sharing Time and Mom had to teach Relief Society so poor Laken I had to sit and hold as she was chilling wearing her wool sweater. Not a good combo for me to stand and hold my personal little space heater while I am having a hot flash and teaching primary! So finally once Mom was done with her lesson she took her home. I came home from church to find her passed out on Grandma's chair. She had a rough weekend I would say.

Supervised Visits

So I just have to say the system sucks! Last night I had to go have my "intake" meeting with the supervisor place for Paul to have his visitations. As I sat there waiting for the lady I was to meet with it was in this dark hole of an office and I was a nervous wreck. Of course on the verge of tears I just kept picturing how nerve racking this was going to be for my kids to come to this place? They are suppose to have their first visit on Saturday. I can not even walk them into the building. Literally Paul has to park on one side of the building and arrive 10 min. early then I pull up to the curb on the other side and drop them off at the curb? So tell me how do you teach your 3 year old not to go to strangers and then expect her to go to a complete stranger with no anxiety? I don't understand? I'm trying to stay positive about this one and have had many of you tell me that "maybe this is what Mason will need for closure" or "Paul, will only do this once or twice because he has to pay $50 an hour." I know everyone has meant well by those comments but, that does not seem to help. If he does only show for one or two visits guess what I get to start back at square one with trying to get my kids adjusted to the idea of their father abandoning them AGAIN! It has taken me 2 1/2 years to get Mason especially adjusted to the point that he is today! So I am a bit irritated with this whole thing right now! Thank you to my mom, my good friend Jenn, and Marc who talked to me last night and calmed me down and even made me laugh. You are the best! Funny how I thought when I finally had papers signed this nightmare would be over? This custody, visitation thing is Crap! Even the supervisor last night said that 4 hours for the first visit was way too long! Especially for the 3 year old who still needs a nap during that time of day? She said she was going to try and talk to Paul and see if he will drop it to 2 hours at least for the first week? So this is where we will see if he will think of the kids needs first? Ha Ha, yeah right! He is fighting over 4 hours that he feels he lost last weekend due to the process not being in place. Wants me to give up one of my weekends or a holiday so he can have his 4 hours! Ummm, HELLO? Really you are going to argue over missing 4 hours with them what about the last 2 1/2 years????

Bluffdale Days

So this weekend turned out a bit crazy but, what else is new? Friday, the kids and I went out to be in the Bluffdale City Parade with our old friends & neighbors who had a float. It was fun but, also emotional for me, I was able to see some old friends but, also realized that though I have been able to forgive and forget about somethings that took place during the past few years others have not? So that was a hard pill to swallow. So I went to my friend Jenn's house for a fun little pedicure party she was having. It was good fun to go hang out with the girls.

Saturday night was fun and interesting and of course a little bit of drama thrown in the mix? Jenn and her hubby Adam and some of Jenn's friends from CA and I went to watch our good friend J. Marc Bailey's concert. He did an amazing job. Marc and a group of us all went out to dinner it was so much fun and I had a great time getting to know some new friends.

"I'm going to Marry Christian in a Sparkly Dress"

So for my B-day I got a Camcorder mainly because I did not want to miss out on getting my kids sweet little voices on tape. This is just a little glimpse into my little bouncing spaz babies and Laken telling me about her boyfriend and that she is going to marry him in a sparkly dress. Ugh she is 3 heaven help me when she is 16!!!!!

Fragile

This week has defiantly been a strange one. Had some own personal issues to face and then some issues with some friends that have had to be dealt with. Then found out that a former co-worker and friend who is still very young had a heart attack. Then to hear about a family member of a co-worker who committed suicide so it got me thinking of how truly fragile life is. Sadly I have had to learn this lesson other times in my life as well and that is why I probably get in peoples face a little too much when we have a disagreement? I don't want to have to face those demons again of wishing I would have said "I'm sorry" and worked threw something. Only to find out I no longer have the chance to do so? So to all my friends and family I am sure that I have frustrated you all and ticked you all off probably multiple times in our relationship. I know that we never know if there will even be a tomorrow so I just wanted you all to know that I am sorry for ever causing you pain, frustration, or grief. I love you all and thank you for putting up with me!!!!!

An Amazing Friends Special Concert!

My dear friend "Yennifer" celebrated her birthday today and although today seemed to be a rollercoaster I hope she knows just how truly special she is to all of those she has blessed by way of her friendship. She is IMPOSSIBLE to try and surprise but, we tried our best and we called her good friend Marc to come and serenade her. Marc, and his friends Jeremy & Riley came and put on a fantastic little private concert for all of us at the Scrapbook Retreat. Then after the concert we all had a fantastic "therapy session" that was so much fun. Jenn, I hope you know you have truly touched so many peoples lives and you have a special gift that allows you to be able to help those who are in need of a true friend. WE LOVE YOU!!!! Marc, thank you for agreeing to come you are more than just a "piece of meat" (ha ha) you are a great guy and it will get better I promise. Yennifer stay exactly the way you are you are AMAZING!!!!

Here is just a short clip of our little private concert!!!! Thanks Marc & Jeremy!

FREEDOM

So how fitting is it that even my kids during this period of time get to experience the feeling of feeling free again. As I try to make a fresh start in my own life Mason got the chance to have one as well. Yesterday Mason was able to get his little hulk arm cast removed. Does anybody else feel jipped off about this I remember when I was a kid I had to wear those dirty stinky things for 8 weeks! He only had them for 3!!! Of course I am happy for him because otherwise it would be a long miserable summer having to stare at the pool for 8 weeks. He was so happy to feel free and know that he could now go swimming and start learning how to ride his new bike. Of course little sister had to come along for the fun and was so happy to see her brothers stinky cast gone so was MOM they stunk!!!

Stomp

Just had to say that over the weekend as a birthday celebration for my great friend Jenn and myself we went and saw STOMP which was so much fun. Then we did a tiny shopping trip and went to Dinner. It was so fun to go out and do something with my friend. She has been a great friend to me and a huge blessing in mine and my kids lives the last few years. I would probably not be where I am today if it was not for her constant love, and support to help me deal with things that I truly just did not want to deal with at the time. Besides being one of the friendliest and most giving people I know she has the best set of Green Eyes I have ever seen just ask the waiter at Tuscano's who could not get enough of them. Love ya Jenn!!!!

Am I Floating Yet?

Ever known what it was like to live years under the stress and weight of some huge boulder? I have, and today I woke up and thought I might even float away because that weight has finally been lifted off of me. I had to even run and check the papers first thing when I woke up to make sure that it was not all just a great dream? Papers you ask? YES MY DIVORCE PAPERS!!!!!!!!! AUGH!!!!! Halla-freaking-luia it is about dang time!!!! So first and foremost thank you to all of my loving friends and family who have not only struggled along with me and helped me and the kids out in so many ways but, also had to put up with my emotional roller coaster! Thank you I wish I could think of a way to re-pay all of you. I wish that I could just take everyone on a cruise or a great trip to celebrate this huge momentous occasion but, sorry can't afford it. So just know I love you all and would have not made it through this hell with out you all.

So now for the details because I have received a bunch of text messages and a bunch phone calls and I have chattered a million miles a minute since yesterday afternoon so I figure I will type it all up and you can read the great day that I had yesterday. Bare with me for the Novel but, I promise it is so much fun and so freaking Liberating!!!! OK for starters for those of you who do not know 8 weeks ago we had a hearing and the Judge told Paul that he needed to see the kids he gave him 6 weeks of reunification and then after the 6 weeks he would get standard visitation rights. After the 6 weeks we were then ordered to go to Mediation again before we went to trial, which was so suppose to happen on May 15th. So of course I fell apart thinking of the kids being scared to go with him, blah, blah, blah... Those of you who handled those tearful phone calls THANK YOU! Anyways in typical Paul style the mediation was cancelled and moved back to June 5th. And he never showed for any visitation with the kids, prayers were answered!!! Only this time around my attorney chose the mediator and it was at his office don't know but, something about being on your own turf gave me a little more confidence going into this one. So I arrive and my attorney says lets go to my office, last night Paul's attorney faxed over a settlement proposal which was pretty good except for a few things which don't you all worry I got my way and tweaked some. You have to know what HIS proposal was though because you will laugh and see just how much of an idiot the guy truly was about this whole thing. So instead of the 6 weeks reunification time that he was previously awarded he, himself wants to change that to 9 months reunification time and about 1/4 of the time hour wise????? And instead of agreeing on a supervisor for his supervised visits he wants to use the court appointed program which he has to pay 100% of and it will cost him $50 an hour!!!! So Chances of that happening are probably slim to none seeing as we all know $ is more important to him.

Now the funniest parts so then the attorney's and mediator decide to meet upstairs and kick me out I walk down stairs and Paul is sitting there on the love seat (yes there is no other place to sit but one tiny freaking little love seat, ugh!) He smiles and tells me Hi and Happy Birthday (like we are friends or something???) I slowly sit down and he then begins to try and talk to me like no big deal we are buddies now? I'm thinking HELP ME get me out of her but, you all know me I can fake it with the best of them and I of course wanted to be sweet so that I could get my way and get this thing over with. He then continues on and ask about my Grandma, Mom, Brothers, Sis-in-laws, nieces, nephews, Aunt, cousins, and even my best friends, after all of that he then says "how is Mason?" however not once did he ever ask how is daughter was never even mentioned her name??? I wonder if he even knows what her name is? Then he says "This is nice, I wish we could just sit and talk like this more often." (ewe) in typical Jen fashion I smart off with this response: "I tried to sit and talk about this you were the one that ran away." Ha Ha Ha I kill me. He just rolled his eyes and got quite. Then I said can we please just end this thing and sign some dang papers today I don't know about you but, I'm so sick and tired of this crap, I'm tired of having to pay these stupid legal fee's, how about we get this done today and you move on and live your life and I can move on and live mine? He responds with "It is not my fault that we are here." Errr you all know FIREWORKS are coming right? So I say "REEEAAALLLYYY you do not think you did any of this? You do not think you made any mistakes? He says "Yeah I know I made mistakes, we all make mistakes." I say "You are right we do all make mistakes but it is how we choose to handle and respond to those mistakes that shows us what type of person we truly are." (Have to admit I'm proud of myself for that one!) Then I sat there for a little while longer and then my favorite part yet. I looked at him and said "I need to tell you something, I am so happy." He looks all confused, I continue and say "I can honestly look at you and no longer want to rip your face off, instead I want to tell you Thank You, Thank you because I am so much better off without you!" Does anybody else hear angels singing I have to say probably one of my proudest moments of my life! It has been a long road but, I have finally truly gotten there! Luckily the Mediator walks down just then and says we are ready to go to the conference room (Whew I was saved after that little comment) then I go sit down thinking dude go sit on the other side of the table instead he walks around the table and sits next to me. Ewwww get away from me you freak!!!!

Ok so now the settlement part which still has me baffled and cracking up. Already told you the visitation thing. Then the only things he really wanted were his Guns (big shocker) idiot we have been through this how many times they are GONE sold for diapers and food right when you left??? Then he says he wants all of the shares of Eye Catchers??? Ummm hello been through this one also there is no Business. He says but, it is a good name, (laughing in my head thinking once upon a time it was before you got your hands on it!) So he fought (ha, ha,) for the business and assumed all the debts and I am held unaccountable for any of it. So I walk away with Child support Plus a back settlement of support for 9k and they tell him it will be garnished threw ORS and that because I have 2 kids they can garnish up to 50% of his wages until I have my back support. Now we just pray that he goes and lives his life and I will move on and live mine.

Now for the out of the mouths of babes funny of the story I drove from the Attorneys office and picked the kids up at school and of course was hyper and bouncing off of the walls Mason says "Mom why are so hyper today?" so I say "Because guess what Mommy finally got her divorce today." He yells "HALLELUJAH, so have you found a new husband yet?" I laugh and say "NO" he then says so you mean "I don't get a new step dad yet?" I say no buddy I have to date before I can find a new husband and he responds with "Well what are you sitting around here for then? Get out there and start dating!" Too funny that kid cracks me up!

Time Changes Things!

So I have already heard that I need to put some pictures on this thing so the only ones' I have happen to be over a year and a half old. My friend Angela took pictures for us our first Christmas that we were alone. I remember this day very clearly and remember feeling sorry for myself that we did not have Mr. Wonderful (gag) with us for a "family picture." Now I look at these pictures and how much my children have grown and think Wow how much I have truly grown as well. Now instead of feeling sorry for myself I want to stand on the rooftops and sing THANK THE LORD he was not a part of these pictures. As difficult as it was to watch my marriage fall apart and crumble I look at my childrens faces and know we are so much better off and happier without his negative influence in our home. Luckily time does truly heal all wounds.
These pictures of Laken always make me laugh she is such a little Ham and loves to play dress up. Just recently someone brought up the book "Fancy Nancy" to us and said that it reminded them of Laken. They had only seen her in church so after reading the book about a little girl who loves to play dress up and act like she is a Queen I just have to laugh because that little book could definatly be written about Laken. These pictures although they make me sad because my baby is growing up so fast they make me smile and laugh because I know the little diva that is underneath that big old hat. She brings me laughter every day I am such a lucky mother to have her in my life. The picture of Mason makes me laugh as well he has always loved the camera this picture makes me laugh because he looks like he should be in the movie "Newsies" what a bunch of little Hams I have! I am so blessed to have two amazing children who regardless of the trials they have had to endure or watch they still manage to put a smile on thier face and a smile on mine.