Easter Weekend!!!!

Saturday is our Annual Family Easter Egg Hunt with the Family and Carol's family this year since Kenny and Carol moved to Woodland and the weather has been crazy we had to hold the Easter Egg Hunt indoors. So the rule for my kids was they had to only get Eggs that are from the waist up so the little kids could get the easier one's. Laken worked her magic and got cousin Mike to pick her up to get eggs from up high and also was so proud when she found the one Egg that Uncle Kenny was sure nobody would find. Cousin Mike Lifting Laken up to get Eggs Laken showing Uncle Kenny she found his sneaky egg I got to spend time dealing with my baby hunger by hanging out with my 5th little "Great" Grace I think I have finally accepted the fact that I'm a "Great Aunt" although at times it still makes me feel a little old because I think of my Great Aunt Erma who was 90 something? But, I must admit with the amount of baby hunger I have been feeling lately it is so nice to have such cute great nieces and my little nephew to play with. Grace & Me Mason on the Deck proving that it was snowing outside. Some of my Favorite Little Girls Millie, Laken, & Grace One of my favorite hiding spots Grandpa Z's arm and Amelia and Great Grandma Sylvia laughing about it. (Carol's Grandma) Laken showing off her stash "Brookie" such a sweetheart love her she kept giving me hugs anytime I would just say her name :) Kate cracked me up she would find one egg pop it open and start eating it. She is my kind of girl! :) Parker finding eggs and decked out in his Hawaiian Outfit from Grandma & Grandpa. He told me he had to wear shorts and sunny stuff because later that day he was flying to sunny California to go to Disneyland. So Excited to hear him tell me all about his trip when he comes home. After our family outing I actually got the chance to have a girls night out which was well needed it has been too long. My Mom was able to get 4 free tickets to Hale Theater for a friend and family special they were having so I took my two friends from work Candice & Heidi and also my friend Jacque we saw the play Hasty Heart and I would highly recommend it I laughed so hard and the last half sobbed my eye's out. I'm glad I was not alone in crying but, there were alot of things in the play that reminded me of "Moo" not to mention the fact that they whole thing revolved around a guy talking about Scotland which is were she ended her life so I cried with the rest of the Audience but, probably for additional reasons, this is usually the time of year she is leaving Alaska and headed for another adventure and has several times spent Easter with us. I still miss her and hope she knows I love her dearly. Sunday Morning Easter Morning was so much fun the kids are always so thrilled with whatever they get I love them for that it doesn't matter what it is they are always so excited about every holiday. Mason also had to speak for the first time in Sacrament Meeting and had to speak on the true meaning of Easter. He did such a great job I was so proud of him. He is a much better public speaker than his mother is that is for dang sure.

Williamsen got Married!!!!!

My good friend Amy Williamsen got married I am so happy for her! We met up in Yellowstone, and have been friends since although we rarely get to hang out. The craziest part of her wedding is she ended up marrying a guy named Karl who I actually grew up with. His older sister was my age and his parents have actaully known my Mom and Dad since they were in college at BYU. It is such a small world! I find it really ironic what I wrote in my previous two post because of what happened at this reception. First, I was really grouchy getting ready to go to the reception and could not figure out why until I finally put my dress on. This was the first time going to a wedding solo I guess without a date or without being able to have my kids come along. Usually I'm alright with that at least I thought I was? Until I walked into a room filled with people that I only remember from my childhood especially people who at one point were some of my mother's best friends yet after my parents divorce they have stayed friends with my father and I watched as my mmother cried about losing her best friends even though she did nothing wrong? My father made some horrible choices yet people stood by his side and shun my mother? I will never understand that, especially since I too have had to experience it? I wandered around feeling lost wondering where to sit luckily an old neighbor nicely said I could sit with her family. And then her husband once he figured out who I was asked "So how is your Dad, does he still play poker every month with 'the guys'" My reply was your guess is as good as mine? Then the reply was "I'm pretty sure he does I see him over there often." GREAT! Just what I want to talk about my Father! So long story short final words to some of these people were if you see my father tell him his daughter said hello since you will probably see him before I will. Then I turned and saw how Happy my friend Amy was and smiled and gave her the biggest hug and told her how Happy I was for her. Timing on some things is a very strange thing.

Follow Up to what was missing.

After my last post of going off about losing friends through the divorce process I have been thinking alot about why that happens? I have a mother who lost several friends although she is the one who did nothing wrong in the marriage, yet jackass of a cheating father still gets to keep those friends? Other people I know have had the same problems women are frowned upon as if we did something wrong? Or maybe they think we may try and take there husband? NEWS FLASH LADIES sorry but, after going through a hellish marriage and ordeal the last thing in the world that we want at that moment is another Man. Someday I hope to figure out why it is that I lost such amazing friends through the process and why in the church people look at you like you did something wrong? When a majority of the time it was the Man who committed the sin. Oh well just another question I will have to ask the lord when I make it up there someday but, in the meantime if anybody reads this don't Judge others until you know what really was going on in there life. The old saying "Walk a mile in there shoes." trust me you don't want to walk in my old shoes.

Trying to figure out what is missing?

Over the weekend I spent an entire day cleaning out the craft room/what use to be Grandma Bullard's sewing room so I found alot of great finds as far as buttons,etc from her stuff. But, I also found all the paperwork,or evidence of the X craziness. Along with that I found piles of pictures the one's including him I could care less about it was the pictures of my old friends and old neighborhood that stung the most. The next day we had a baby blessing of my newest Great Niece (Mike & Mel's) #3 Grace Elizabeth she is so beautiful and yes I will admit I have been extremely baby hungry the past few months, but that is not even an option so I have to suck it up and deal with it but, it is fun that I get to hold newborn babies and play with all my little "Greats" I can't believe there are 5 of them already? Anyways on our way home from Provo Mason asked if we could drive past our old house in Lehi, He wanted to show it to Laken really bad, he had seen some of the pictures with me the previous day. As we drove through the neighborhood, Church was just getting out and Mason screams there is Michelle turn around lets go see them. I don't know why but, I said No I just couldn't do it? I have wracked my brain as to why I would not want to stop and see her and her family? And all I can come up with is that I didn't just loose a psycho husband I ended up losing a best friend, I lost my lifestyle, and I guess I felt like her family had already put up with so much drama from helping me get through those years of hell I guess I feel like I was doing them a favor by completely staying away from them so they too had no reminders of those horrific times? In the meantime I don't miss being married I just miss my old life I miss hanging out in a neighborhood of young families where the mom's would sit and visit and the kids all loved to play with each other. I miss seeing the smile and laughter on my kids faces as they raced around on their power wheel jeeps together. I wish somebody before he made the choices he made would have thought of all the things that he took away from his kids. :(

Spring Time

I realized that I have not taken my kids to do a photo shoot since last August. So we attempted to do it this past Saturday. However a snow storm was on it's way so I knew we had to act fast before it arrived. We started doing pictures and man was the wind horrible most of the pictures did not turn out real great due to flying hair or dirt in the eye's but a few are ok. So here are the most recent pictures of my kids who are growing up so fast. :(

This one is probably one of my favorites because they were grouchy so I told them to turn and stare at each other instead they both started to giggle.

School Dress Up Day!

My kids did it again, the last minute "Mom we are suppose to dress up as our favorite character from a book. Laken of course wanted to be Fancy Nancy she truly believes she is Fancy Nancy on most days and I'm just throwing it out there should Fancy Nancy ever be made into a movie Cast my little Diva she has them all memorized, red hair, and the little attitude and most of the french words out of the books down. So here are pics of my Fancy Nancy who had to have Butterfly clips for her hair and everything.
Mason wanted big black wings to go with some Character out of Fablehaven series. I laughed when he told me wings and said do you think I can figure out how to make wings? He said "yes you can figure out how to do anything". Just to be clear the kid has mastered the art of manipulation. So of course I don't want to be the mom who sends her kid to school and they are the only one without a costume so I stayed up until almost midnight and made stinking wings! The next morning Mason insisted that the character would probably wear a Faux Hawk so we had to do massive hair duty with both kids, curlers for Laken and a Faux Hawk for Mason.


I love that Laken was happy to have her picture taken yet, Mason as you can tell was giving me the evil eye like "Mom you are so lame." Darn right I am I have blisters from a hot glue gun all over my fingers and stayed up way too late to make sure you had that look! But, of course the best part of it all was when I dropped the kids off at school and we only saw 3 other kids dressed up. It was at that moment that I wanted to beat them, not really but, you know what I mean. Seriously why do I even bother sometimes?

Life is Changing

This book was written by one of my bosses and I'm not trying to give him a plug or suck up in anyway but, I just have to share this AMAZING book with everyone. I honestly stayed up an entire night and read the entire thing. I then cried my eye's out for several hours because Matt Baldwin released this books Month's prior but, I never found the time to read it. Until a lot of stuff was going on and I was in a funk and very sick so needed a book to read and figured what the heck? So I started to read it. I can't even begin to put into words what this book has done for me but, it has changed my life. It has changed the way I look at things it has also made me realize how important certain people in my life are. It has made me even decide to go back to school. Scary thought I know and I'm trying to figure out how to fit it all in but, somehow I will, hopefully if I am able to get a grant to afford it. Deciding what I want to be when I grow up is another story. I sat and told my Bishop about this book and his comment to me was there is a reason you did not read it before now you were not ready to take away the message that is given in the book.

I believe he is right because back in November one of my best friends Mary "Moo" committed suicide I have had a hard time dealing with it
There is a portion in this book that talks about death and losing a friend and how we communicate with others, I have felt very guilty because I felt like I should have called her or something when she popped into my head and I didn't. However another good friend told me "Jen even if you had and she still made that choice you would hurt worse because I know you and you would think you said something to upset her. The Lord was trying to protect you as well." After reading "Snow Rising" I truly can say that I look at the way that I speak to people and to my kids differently. I know the Author and his wife very well and have watched his practices in person and can tell you that he is by far one of the most amazing men I have ever met. I joke with him because I took my current job thinking it would restore my faith in men and it did the opposite, all except for Matt and his amazing wife Val I have said if I could have a relationship like they do I would consider marriage again. If you haven't read this book do so I promise it will make you re-think somethings.

To my dear friend Mary Moo may you finally find peace and know that I love and miss you on a daily basis and you will never be forgotten. Love you!